From dating to preparing for marriage

After knowing each other for so many years, and being together for a couple of years, we both knew that we wanted to settle down together, and live happily ever after. The question was just.. when? (Although I must confess, I will always remember a comment he made, something along the line of within 5 years :D)

In Singapore, everything is about money. At that time, Marcus was still doing his degree course, and I was earning, literally, peanuts. There would be no way we could get married, and not find ourself, knee-deep in debt. The catalyst that enabled us to start planning for a future? Marcus graduated and got a job earning a respectable pay working in China.

In the course of deciding whether to take up the job, the discussion turned to that of marriage. Of how the pay offered will allow us to get married without being in debt, and how with the marriage, he will be able to offer me an official (yes, we are traditional-minded) status and put my parents' minds at ease when I join him in China after my graduation.

No concrete plans about the wedding was made. Our original idea was to get ROM before I leave for China in May 2009. We shopped for a proposal ring, and I was almost worried that I could not find the perfect setting I wanted. Yes, diamonds was not my cause of worry, as they are definitely a-plenty. It was the setting of the band that I was worried about. But of cause, we found the perfect ring for me!

The proposal was done in the place where we are most comfortable - At Home. There were no surprises, no nicely decorated place, no delicious romantic dinner. But it was the best proposal anyone could have. There was a bouquet of roses (white, I remember), and Marcus kneeling down on one knee. Yes, he stammered and stuttered, but hey, which man wouldn't? It needed much courage to ask a lady to entrust the rest of her life in your hands! He spoke of love and trust, and also of responsibility. And for someone who seldom makes any promises, he made me a solemn promise (which I am keeping a secret).

Keeping a long-distance relationship strong and steady was tough. But we persevered on as we have a common goal - to live the rest of our lives as one. After numerous discussions, we decided that it would be too troublesome to hold a ROM ceremony, and return to Singapore again in future to hold the customary wedding. I was tasked to research and budget to see if we could afford to hold the customary wedding and solemnisation on the same day.

It was fun to source for the different vendors and hotels, and to decide on the sort of wedding I would like. I am really fortunate in this sense that Marcus gave me free reign and full control over what sort of wedding to have. From the date of the wedding - to the choosing of the venue - to the bridal studio - to the theme of the wedding. I was allowed to make decisions on all these and even more, without having to bend over backwards trying to accomodate Marcus, my parents or my mother-in-law. That being said, of cause I showed respect to Marcus, by informing him of the reasons for my decisions, and waiting for his confirmation that said I am right. :D

I decided on a May wedding (more details in about us), made an appointment to view my desired hotel (and confirmed it within a week) and with all these major decisions made, we set up a date for our parents to meet to discuss the dowry. We were really glad that my parents and his mother were very understanding and accommodating to us and our small budget, and that they are also happy that we are tying the knot.

With all these settled, our wedding was made a reality, and we are soon going to be embarking on the next chapter of our lives together. But first, we have to go through the anxiety and stress of wedding preparation. Stay tuned to see how we coped and what was done in later entries!

Love from Sheryl